Potential Hasta Luego

Which means "until later" in Spanish. In 2 days I am taking my things and leaving my mother's house. I'll be staying with my grandparents. There is no computer there. 10 days after that I will be leaving with them (assuming the plan doesn't get changed on me. Yet again.) to go to FL. I don't know if they have a computer there. So I want to drop a little CUL8R.

The last 2 months have been a challenge, much like the last time I was on this island. I guess I knew that before coming. I'm still not sure why I didn't expect it to be that way. I came with great expectations and the belief that, even though it meant giving up all the places and people that I love, it would be in my best interest. Turns out it has been quite the opposite. Not only did I lose what I KNEW I was losing, I've also lost what I came for.

For those not completely in the loop, I came for school. I wanted to move forward in the field I have recently entered and filling in the knowledge I lack is the only way forward. I thought I was going to fiind that here. At least, that is what I was led to believe. I was wrong. Now I must find some other way to do it. I am determined to make it happen, one way or another.

This might mean being "off-line" for an extended period, something I am not exactly looking forward to. I've become incredibly dependent on this "social networking" technology. So much so that it is the only link I have to people anymore. The only way to say hello, or I miss you or ask for help or...whatever I need to say.

I went looking for some old "traveling songs" of mine today. They put me in the right mindframe to be strong enough to not look back. Looking backwards while walking forward can have some negative effects. Like running into what you are heading towards and hurting yourself with it. Like making you turn around. Or just plain freezing in place. I cannot afford any of these.

I am pretty sure tomorrow will be the last time I have access to this computer so I want to leave each of you guys with a little personalized message. I imagine most of you won't see it (my blog isn't exactly "required reading" for many of you guys) but I want it to be there just in case you do decide to give it a whirl. Or maybe you start wondering what happened and decide to investigate and find it. Or someone tells you I left you a message. Whatever the reason know this; you are special to me in a very unique way and no matter where I end up, whether we see each other soon or a lifetime from now, I'll always carry a bit of you with me. Always.

So without further ado:

(I am doing this list alphabetically. No favorites that way.)

Abel (y el Corillo): Hermano. Caballero. Distinguido. Gracias por cubrime con el plantel de tu amistad y tu familia (nuclear y "extendida"). Tu apoyo ha hecho que estos meses no fueran completamente amargos.

Avery: My "dot,dot,dot" sister! I wish I could lend you my strenght right now. And I know you wish you could do the same for me. We do better when we do together.

Candice: Keep your head up. I know you are tired. I know you are scared. I know you worry. I know you want answers that give you peace. I know you deserve them just as much as the next person does. Don't worry so much. Me & Thump Thump  have your back. AATA. Goodnite, Elisabeth...

Celeste: Even though there isn't a whole lot of  "smile" left in this "little boy" I'm always going to save that song for you. Karaoke Hat Partners forever!

Gravylegs (no, this isn't out of order): I expect at least 1 of your monthly conquests to be screaming MY name when you give her the stunner. I'll meet you in the DaHui's bathroom.

Christina: Heading your way soon...can I still crash if I need to? I promise I'll behave.

Craig: I might be heading your way soon as well...can I still crash if I need to? I promise I'll mis-behave.

Danny and David: Please keep an eye on our Little Boy Blue for me. I remember how I felt when it all came crashing down around me and I wish I had had friends like you guys around to make it a little better. Miss ya tons.

Mr. Bowman: Hope the coup goes well and no innocent blood is shed. If I ever find myself on your side of the pond we'll go searching for Drambuie again.

Desi: You be good, young lady. Try to keep yourself in one piece until I get back so I can give you a speech about how much boys suck. P.S. Vampires don't exist.

DD: What can I say to the woman who saved my life and held me together long enough for me to leave on a magical journey? Thank you. Truly. For everything. After all these years I still know what I gave up.

El Bonk: Your example of a life well lived has always been an inspiration to me. You never quit and you have some amazing to show for it. Thanks for the plate-on-a-stick.

Gabe: You glorious, gay, film god! It is always a blast to hear from you and your adventures. I still haven't seen that video we shot. You know. The one with Scott, and you and that other guy? You know...

Gem: I'm coming, baby! As soon as I can. And when I do everything will be tits bitchin!! Promise. I miss you something fierce.

Gero: Keep your eyes on the sky and the foot on the gas, hermano. Eventually we are bound to get this thing they call life right. Right? Hope to see you soon.

Grilla & co: Thanks for Thanksgiving. Sorry I was a dick and ruined it.

Manolito: Even after all these years of absence you still care. I truly appreciate that. Especially seeing how many others that were actually HERE didn't seem to. Thank you.

Julia: Who'da thunk it, huh? BTW, I'm keeping the baby names. Just in case. Thanks.

Julian: It was real nice finding you after all this time. I'm glad you never quit like I did. Hope it isn't another 15 years until we see each other again.

Karen: My favorite cousin. (Yeah, I know. I said I wouldn't play favorites. Whatever. Suck it.) Thank you for your support. You know how important family is to me and you listened when all I could do was bitch about it. Hope yours is all back together sooner than you expect.

Karla the Pixie: Still looking forward to helping you cross me off your Bucket List. LMAO! Stay true, my dear. You rawk!

JK: If you never finish writing anything ever again you'll still be the best writer I know. You speak from the heart and listen from it too. Thank you for your friendship and, especially, for your honesty. And don't forget. When I get back, Islamic Karaoke Challenge is on like Donkey Kong hitting a bong!!

Nashyra: I know you don't care and I know you would rather I didn't either. I know you didn't believe me then and you don't believe me now when I say I love you. But I do. Thank you. You made me strong by breaking me down and showing me where I wasn't all "nice and perfect". Even though I probably didn't deserve the favor. I am very appreciative of that.

Patti, Scott, Argamosos, Acer Pacer and Mr. Kitty Mrew Mrow: If home is where the heart is then my home is with you guys. And if home is where your stuff is then my home is with you guys. And if home if where you hang your hat then my home is with you guys. And if there is no place like home then...can I move back in? P.S. I have July as my target. I'll do everything I can. I swear.

Paulie: In the short amount of time I've "had you back" you've put the most smiles on my face. Always good for that. Keep Dayton alive for me, wherever you go.

PJ: We can't make snow angels or sled down Stuart Hill anymore. But we can still root for Harold Miner.

Poker: You bitch....

Woodster: I'm glad Dayton still has good people left. And I promise that I'll do everything I can to accelerate the fall of the Federal Reserve. It is the least I can do.

Rob: Save me some sauce, man. First thing we are doing when I get back is go to The Acrop, get a burger (hopefully they have pickles this time) and we are SOOOO taking some strippers home with us. If that doesn't work we'll go egg Boomer's house.

Shannon: You dirty pool playing hussy! As soon as I have a phone I expect porn getting sent to it in copious amounts. And dry-hump Dan for me, will ya?

Sick: You aren't all THAT bad at poker...and you'll never hear me say that again! Please take care of yourself. I know right now it is tough. I've been there. Still sort of am. But it does get better. And who knows, maybe someday you'll beat me at poker! AWW SNAP!!!!! THAT JUST HAPPENED!!! :-P

Thamara: I had forgotten how dirty you can be. I miss those simpler days when "safe sex" was having a padded headboard. You bring the blue pills, I'll bring the wuhu.

Von Dave: "Sorry mister officer, I think you got me wrong. I'm a lonely, old Portland boy and I wanna get on home. He smiled and said Se~or, you're not in Portland anymore..." Rock on, sir. Rock on.

Winnie: Sorry I'm can't be who you want me to be when you want me to be it. But I do love you. Thank you and Jean for a bunch of really awesome times. But for the love of Christ, lay off the radio when you are driving! You are going to kill me!!!

I think I got most everybody I meant to get. I read through the list twice. Pretty satisfied with it. If I didn't get you leave me a message and call me names I probably deserve. I plan to be available on Facebook as soon as possible, but as I said, my immediate future might require a little "e-distance". I'll miss you all quite a bit. And I hope that our paths will cross very soon. And remember:

"Some of us fly and some of us worry of touching the sun with our wings. I know if I try I'll get where I'm going. So I'm keeping my eyes on the sky."

Gotta fly,
    M